Suicider and the God

Here comes the misled spirit, patience less like a sand storm
God calls him O lame of creature! What made you withdraw?
You had my all blessings and gifts - hands , sight, health and power
Why did you leave my earth against my will?
Why did you choose the hellfire to dwell for countless lives?
Why did u betray me in the mid of war of life?
Slaughtered the life which was my gift! what made you mad for death?

I am martyr not a dead, You promised a martyr will live in peace !
When I was young I was taught that to die for a cause is most sacred
God keeps such people in the heaven who give their lives away this way!
Every religion you sent on earth teaches us to die for good and cause
Heavenly books shout aloud that honor of God is greater than life
I was believer of your path, I had no happiness on the earth
Open your vision and show me my life see how much I cried
I was seized by hard and bad luck on each turning of my life
My patience was strong and I had a belief, I always fought with myself
Hitting of arrows made me weak my blood spilled everywhere
Disbelievers laughed at me, accused you for bad! and me for my belief!
They gazed with eyes shouting at me that your God’s traits are lame
I had no control on my life, except supplications, prayers and efforts
I understand your compulsions and complicated system of life
My patience died one day and left me behind, crying by his grave
Patience was my only friend who kept me alive so many years
He taught me hope and self deception, I practiced whole my life
Some weaker men from your creature can’t pass the godly tests
I saved your honor and sacrificed for your belief, you accept it or not
People have no example on earth now  that rot their hearts and belief
No one knows what happened in real, all was done under black veil
I didn’t complain, my lord forgot me, left me in the wild desert in dark
To go to death valley was only refuge, as all the doors were shut for me
Now I am away from the bloody gaze with meaningful and ironic looks
You can burn me to the ashes if your punishment awaits and wants more
In the silence deep in the fire throw me farther away to nameless lands
Drop me in this endless tunnel full of fire and womb of hell storms
Give me an icy cremation throw me to the lands of freezing fire
I have passed through the death at my own will, with no joy and smile
Who brave can stab himself and bleed to give away a beautiful life
Some people can’t get the same reward for the same act others perform
Luck and blessing changes from person to person and heart to heart
If I was blessed in the world I left then spare me lord from such blessing
If I ever had some way to escape I loved my life and play of sun and moon

Here comes your grand son O my man!, life was so short you never knew
7th descendant is born while you spoke, impatience ashamed me my man!
You could leave the circs on my court, I could take care of them on my own
I will mark a curse on your face  which will remind all a step you took
How could I forget you walked on my lands I didn’t forget you in the womb
I don’t feel great to tease any soul, you enjoy heaven but don’t come to me
That’s all you cried for I gave you plentiful! I break friendship with you today
Life is my gift to every living being, only I can give and take back at my will

Copyright 2005, Asif Mehmood (Author)